Not even Patchouli can console me from the crap and ass-ness of this movie.

Last Saturday me and my buddies went to watch Dayo, a Filipino animated film. (Not before eating, window shopping, chugging some coffee at Starbucks, and some hijinks.) Well, normally I would not watch something like this but this friend of mine is studying animation and wants to know what is the latest trend in animating so being a good buddy, I just went along with watching this. I was not really expecting much from this animated movie. After all, this movie is aimed for kids but damn this movie is the most unbearable movie I have seen in my life. (LOL, exagerrating. I have also watched more crappy movies than this.) I will list down my complaints about this movie. (From the start of the movie until the end.)

The Ticket Price!!!
180 PESOS!!! 180 FUCKING PESOS!!! Yeah, I know this is an entry in the Manila Film Festival but damn that price is fucking high. (Usually, a ticket cost around 120 pesos here.) I would agree with the price if it was groundbreaking or something. Its like buying a next-gen console only to find out later that it is a piece of crap.

Too Much Ad Placement!!!
Oh boy, where do I begin:

• First scene, we see a plane, Philippine Airlines.
• Next scene,  which is in a school, there is a stand for Tender Juicy Hot Dogs.
• The same scene, there is a stand for Mister Donuts.
• During the scene where the main character went back to the surface world to get a mirror and a photo of himself and his grandparents, he picks up Frootees (Some sweets. I don’t really know. I don’t buy sweets much nowadays.) and Celene. (Not really sure of the spelling. A Vitamin C medicine. He does not even drink some of it. What’s the point of getting this?!)
• In a flashback, the main character is eating a donut (Mister Donuts) and riding a roller coaster on Enchanted Kingdom. (An amusement park.)
• Near the end of the movie, the main character’s grandpa makes a reference of a chicken breading product. (Sorry forgot the brand.)
• The last that you will see is SM Mall of Asia. (Which ironically is the place where we are watching this piece of shit.)

I think that is all of them. (I’m trying to forget all of this. LOL) The movie is like a big commercial! Could they not just place the names of the sponsors in the freaking credits?! If I wanna see commercials I would just turn on the fucking TV!

Too Many Cheesy Lines!!!
Oh God! This is the other thing that annoyed the hell out of me while watching this! I would have let this slide if they did not use this a lot but no they have to say cheesy lines all the fucking time! This actually made me teary eyed. You know why? Its because as much as I want to leave the cinema and save myself from a lot of headache, I can’t! If I leave, I’d be a killjoy and it would not be fair if I leave because I can tell that my friends are also enduring this piece of crap.

The Final Fight With The Villain is So Anti-Climactic!
Yeah, its just like in the Transformers movie. You know, the dumb kid (Could not bother to remember his name because he is not that important. ITS A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!) just thrust the All Spark at Megatron, and Megatron dies! In this piece of crap, the main character just shoots that earth monster thing in the eye with his slingshot and it dies! Speaking of the slingshot, why is that the weapon given to him? He is wearing armor for crying out loud! You would expect the main character to wield a sword, not a freaking slingshot. You are gonna argue that this is a children’s movie so we can’t have that. Bullshit! In PoPoLoCrois (Yes, that is how it is spelled.) the main character, Prince Pietro is 10 years old (Pretty much the same age as the main character in the movie.) and he uses a sword to defend himself in his quest to save his mother’s soul from the underworld.

Now this is a personal gripe but I must add this:
THERE IS A FUCKING CHARACTER THERE WHO IS A BULLY AND IS NAMED AFTER ME!!! @#%$&!
Yes, seriously!!! I would not believe it when one of the characters called out the name but when we check the end credits, BAM!!! as plain as day, the name of that fucking character is “Arvi”. They got the name right. You know, this is a paradox. When people spell my name, they can’t get it right! Which annoys me because my name is only 4 letters long yet they still fuck that up! Then we have this movie, who got the spelling right and the character that is using my name is a pathetic excuse of a character! I mean all he does is echo the threats his other bully buddies say. God, if I was a fucking bully, I swear I would be even more fucking bad ass than that piece of shit! And you know what the worst part is? Because of this, my buddies now found a new way to annoy the fuck out of me! It will probably be a while before they drop this.

Well, it is not all bad. The animation and the backgrounds are pretty good. The story kinda reminded me of PoPoLoCrois. To bad it fucked up. I mean, it has potential but it is plague by ad placements and cheesy lines. Well, as one of my friends said, “Well, that’s 180 pesos down the drain.”